5 signs you have high-performance anxiety

Jan 19

Quick Note: Yes, I’m a licensed therapist. But this blog post is not about anxiety disorders, mmkay? It’s not about anxiety that interferes with your ability to do life. If you find that anxiety is preventing you from being able to function at a healthy level - I highly recommend you schedule an appointment with a therapist or doctor.

So I have this theory.

And here it is: Most high-achievers have a specialty brand of anxiety.

Now, if you want therapisty talk, there are a couple definitions already in existence:

High-functioning anxiety - You have anxiety but you also function and do life relatively well
Performance anxiety - Anxiety around your ability to perform a particular task well

What I did was I took these two ideas and I made an idea baby. Behold!

HIGH-PERFORMANCE ANXIETY - Chronic, low-level anxiety exhibited by high-performers who really, really, REALLY hate the idea of:

Failing
Disappointing others
Looking bad
Creating less-than-perfect results
Getting it “wrong”

I see this in almost every client I have - People who were once great students and are now great employees, managers, and executives.

5 signs you have High-Performance Anxiety:

SIGN 1: You often say “yes” to things you don’t want to do because you hate the idea of people having a negative opinion of you

You’re probably seen as someone who is really easy-going, a team-player, or the “go-to person.”

You’re nice and easy to be around because you HATE to rock the boat in any kind of way - which means you often hold your tongue or do things through gritted teeth.

Validation and reassurance are your drug of choice and you’re always looking for your next hit.

SIGN 2: You play it safe and small because FAILURE is the biggest F-Word of all

If you do something new that’s outside of your comfort zone, you need a step-by-step plan that has been tried and tested and has 1 million five-star google reviews telling you that it will work out perfectly before you feel confident enough to try it.

You find yourself feeling really stuck and unfulfilled but you’re really worried that if you make a change, it won’t work out and then you’ll beat yourself up for messing up a good thing.

So you stay where you are - feeling even more stuck, lost, and frustrated.

SIGN 3: You overthink like it’s an Olympic Sport

You replay conversations and past situations in your head.

You ruminate.

You second-guess every decision you make because you want to know how the outcome will be okay.

You’re always trying to come up with the “right” thing to do or say because every decision feels like a big deal.

You fixate on past mistakes.

And even with all this thinking going on, you mostly feel confused and unsure what to do.

SIGN 4: You constantly feel like you’re “behind” or “failing.”

It doesn’t matter how much you’ve accomplished, all you can think about is what you haven’t gotten done.

It doesn’t matter how successful you are, all you see is how much MORE successful other people are.

You’re always measuring your success against a perfect version of yourself, which means you always come up short.

Even when you hit a goal, you immediately move the goal post to the next thing so you never feel like what you’ve done is good enough.

SIGN 5: You tend to procrastinate and rush to get things done at the last minute

You probably think you procrastinate because you’re lazy, undisciplined, blah blah blah.

The truth is you procrastinate because of the way you think about doing tasks and it’s probably creating an anxiety/stress response (fight/flight/freeze). Pssst. Avoidance is usually flight.

And so you flee the task until missing the deadline becomes MORE threatening than the task.

People who like to do things perfectly almost always struggle with procrastination.

I have high-performing anxiety. What do I do?

If you have high-performance anxiety that’s holding you back, there’s a way out. Not only have I done this work with tons of clients, I’ve done it myself. (Heck, I continue to do it myself)

Here are some tips:

Know that you’re completely normal and there’s nothing wrong with you
Pay attention to how anxiety shows up in your life
Think about what you really want. A great question is, “What would I do if I weren’t afraid?”
Start taking messy action toward what you want (no perfection allowed!)

You don’t have to let anxiety and fear control your life.

You’ve got this, Erica

And if you want to start making decisions from a place of passion, not fear I've got you.

Click here to explore working with me.

Are you ready to do the impossible?

Hi! I’m Erica

Wife to Brendan. Mom to twins + one. Dog mom. Slow runner. Coffee drinker. GIF enthusiast.

I’m a licensed mental health therapist and life coach and career coach. I help you accomplish in 6 months that thing you’ve been thinking about doing for years.