5 Signs you’re a workaholic

You’ll sleep when you’re dead. 

You just need to get this work thinga-ma-jiggy done and then you can relax. 

You take work calls while on vacation. 

You’re always thinking about work. 

…Tell me you’re a workaholic without telling me you’re a workaholic.

Is a workaholic really addicted to work?

This is where I shrug my shoulders and say “Ehhhhhh.”

‘Cause the answer is — maybe.

Some workaholics seem addicted to their work because they actually LOVE THEIR FREAKING WORK. True story. It’s their passion. It makes them feel freaking amazing. And they can’t get enough. 

But for a lot of people, the drive to work all the time comes from a less-than-fantastical kind of place. It comes from:

• The need for constant validation

• Imposter syndrome and the fear your work will find out you actually are a giant pile of suck

• An addiction to achievement and/or busyness

• People-pleasing (Oops, Britney! You did it again! You said “yes” to too many things!)

• The avoidance of gnarly personal lifey things

So, if you know you work a little (or a lot) too much, you want to get real real with yourself about why that’s happening and how that’s working for you.

The problem with workaholism

A lot of high-achievers naturally fall into the trap of workaholism. ‘Cause their factory setting is to hustle, get shit done, and knock it out of the park. 

And while they’re not afraid of hard work (which is great), it’s hard for them to hit the “off” switch. 

But hustling and working super hard can turn into the frog in the pot. It feels completely normal to go a million miles an hour until you wake up one day, feeling completely:

• Disconnected from your life

• Exhausted 

• Burnt out

• Cynical

• Resentful

• Isolated from friends and family

• Regretful that you missed out on cool life stuff

This is not depression or anxiety. This is a misuse of two of your greatest resources — time and energy.  

You know how when you let your phone battery die too many times, it gets less and less efficient until one day it stops working altogether so you have to rush to the Apple store and beg the Genius Bar Lady to please save your library of cute cat videos but the battery is doneso so they have to give you a new one? 

[Just me? Am I the only one who lets their phone get down to 1% because I live life on the edge? Cool]

It’s like that. Except you’re the battery. And you have no choice but to plug yourself in and hit the restart button.  

Because not only are you too tapped out to achieve more, but you can’t even muster the energy to enjoy everything you’ve worked so hard for. 

Signs you’re a workaholic

But are you a workaholic? Or do you just LOVE to work? Let’s play, “You might be a workaholic if…”

1. Work is always the priority (even if you say it isn’t)

This one might hurt. I know because I’ve been this person.

How often have you said, “Family comes first” but then missed family activities or told your family you didn’t have time because you had to work?

I realized I had a problem when my kids pointed out that I’d promised to work less during the summer but I was “working all the time.” Ouch.

2. You’re always “on”

You suck at resting. 

Sure, someone might look at you sitting on the couch, watching Netflix and scrolling Instagram, and think, “They’re relaxing!” But the truth is, your brain is thinking about all the things you’re not doing, the work thingy you have to figure out, and how you really shouldn’t be on the couch right now.

That’s mental work and it is not resting. If anything, it’s rest that feels like procrastination. 

And we all know procrastination means you’re stressed out and you feel like butt.  

3. You have to squeeze life into the nooks and crannies of your non-work time

Want to work out? Go to the dentist? Attend your kid’s parent-teacher conference? Better check your work calendar to see if you can. 

Pretty soon, all those life things, like “self-care” and vacations, feel like interruptions. Cause you’ve got work to do!

Work is scheduled first. Everything else (family, friends, hobbies, personal goals) get whatever time and energy you have left over.  

Which means that the people who mean the most to you are getting the least from you. 

4. You hardly ever take breaks

I’m a recovering workaholic who’s married to a workaholic. At his last job, he accumulated so much unused paid time off, he actually began to lose it. And yes, he took a work call while we were at Disney World. 

Do you always eat lunch at your desk? Do you work evenings and weekends? Do you have a huge stack of unused vacation time? Do you do work stuff while you’re on vacation? Do you jump into all your house projects and chores as soon as you’re home?

Duuuuuude. Nobody is meant to go non-stop. 

If you don’t take a break, you’re going to have a breakDOWN. 

5. You feel like everyone else is slacking

I always hated group projects. I’d invariably feel like I was working harder than everyone else and they weren’t pulling their weight. 

It wasn’t until my 40’s and I had repeated this pattern over and over in almost every job and work project that I had a realization - IT’S ME. I’M THE DRAMA. 

My high-achieving, workaholic tendencies meant I would almost default to overworking. Right off the bat, I would take on too many tasks because I knew I could figure them out and control the quality.

I conditioned my colleagues to think of me as the “go-to person” and delegate things to me. Which meant - yeah, I was working harder than everyone else - because I set it up that way. 

Find calm without sacrificing your ambition

Can you be a high-achiever AND feel calm? For sure.

But it’s not going to be done with a few yoga sessions, green smoothies, or two week-long vacays every year. Those are band-aids and you’re at risk of bleeding out, here.

You have to change HOW you achieve. 

1. Recognize that the workaholic path to burnout can be addicting. Maybe you get a rush from running around, doing all the things. You get a dopamine hit every time you swoop in and save the day. You get something out of going a million miles an hour or else you wouldn’t do it.

2. Check your priorities and how you spend your time. Let’s do a reality check. List out the things that are most important to you. Then list out the things that get your time and energy. Are they aligned or out of whack?

3. Learn how to work smarter. Time and energy are finite resources. If you’re working your booty into the ground, you’re not using them effectively. And that’s where you need to harness your most valuable resource — YOUR BRAIN. Because it’s the boss of how your time and energy are being spent. 

4. Stop trying to be a superhero. I mean, we both know you’re awesome. And sure, you could figure anything out. But at the end of the day, other people can figure things out too. You don’t need to save anyone here (except maybe yourself). 

Remember that doing your best does not mean working yourself into the ground. 

Doing your best means working at a high level. 

And working at a high level requires thinking at a high level. 

Listen, at the end of the day, working hard is not the problem. Working inefficiently is. And that comes from making decisions on autopilot.

Your brain is your greatest resource. It decides how you use and create all your other resources — money, time, and energy. So you can’t afford for it to be a hot mess. 

You deserve a higher standard of success and achievement, where you have the time and energy to achieve more while enjoying everything you’ve already accomplished.

If you’re tired of being tired and you’re ready to experience success that actually feels good, I’m here to give you everything you need to make it happen. Click here to explore working together 1:1.

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Hi! I’m Erica

Licensed psychotherapist. Corporate dropout. Wife to Brendan. Mom to twins + one. ADHDer. Slow runner. Coffee drinker. Swear words enthusiast.

I know exactly what it’s like to have a life that looks successful on the outside but feel chronically exhausted, frustrated, and completely lost on the inside.

I help underachieving high-achievers create lives and careers they love, without burning out.

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